I used to listen to this song all the time in my angsty teenaged years. Heard it tonight and realized it's about a guy begging for sex. Hahaha.
Bonkers. There's a word you don't hear anymore.
ANYHOO.
I'm beginning to feel as though I may be....going a little nutty. That is to say, there may be something more behind my fear of literally everything than just me being a worrywort.
How do I 'splain?
I live in a constant sense of impending doom. On days where it storms, it seems quite possible to me that the apocalypse is coming. At night when I hear the river, I think its some sort of evil machinery afoot. Any time I see or hear a plane or helicoptor, I think someone's about to bomb us.
On days where its nice out, I'm convinced I'm having a heart attack or I have a blood clot in my legs. The right side of me hurts and tingles. I have to rationalize with myself that I'm not dying. Things like... "Well, I've been dying for two hours now. I'm pretty sure it doesn't take that long to die of a heart attack," or "I probably wouldn't be able to use the microwave right now if I were dying of a heart attack."
If I walk down the street, I'm afraid I'm going to trip and spill my brains on concrete.
When I'm not in a constant panick about ME dying, I'm afraid everyone else is going to die. I can't stand to watch people wrestle, to see Bella run through the house or slouch while she's eating.
your just having some serious anxiety, and its normal to feel that way especially when the world is the way it is today. Its crazy because everything you just said I can relate to.like the other day i woke up and there was a tick imbeaded into my side.. I got it out, but the feeling of having something suck my blood made me freak out!, and now i'm terrified that i might have lymes disease.. i'm just waiting for the symptoms to appear.. talk about paranoid!... your alright my dear. the state that you are in is a state of mind, and this is what i'm starting to understand more and more.. you can change the way that you feel with your mind.. and about the song..thats frecking bonkers! cause i used to listen to this same song when i was like 7 and 8 years old, and i thought it was a song about my father. I would cry whenever i herd it... how fecked is that?
youre crazy!!! i feel the same way most days! its unfortunate its a lack of happiness that seems unobtainable!!! its stress hillary, its unexplainable feeling you dont want to explore!! it sucks, it will go away, you will prevail, struggles make our stories better
NOT crazy, Hills; I think you're just in a heightened state of stress which is manifesting as extreme paranoia. Also, I have some of these, too, and I'm convinced it's due to being so completely broke and not having a stable job. Lack of stability and lack of feeling "safe" with the basics (at least for me) leads to me feeling very tenuous about all the other stuff.
Also, you're imaginative, and that doesn't help, with doomsday tendencies, because they're probably more vivid for you than for the average bear.
I DO think it would help you to talk to someone, but I know that money is tight. You can always talk to me and I'll help all I can
I love you the mostest and you're NOT bonkers and I just said bonkers the other day, actually
its a lack of happiness that seems unobtainable!!! its stress hillary, its unexplainable feeling you dont want to explore!! it sucks, it will go away, you will prevail, struggles make our stories better
